forgotten-innocence

2004-11-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

OMG! Steffie's gonna tell the guy i like, that i like him! NNOOO!! OMG She's gonna ask Veronica for his AIM and then she's gonna talk to him and then, NNOO!! OMG, Anh, Steffie and Nikki are all up for her setting me up! I'm really scared, i've never really had a guy know that i liked him becasue i've been scared of what their reaction would be. But i'm even more scared now because he's like the only guy that i've ever really made more than one contact with and we've actually had conversations...or atleast that night. But i like him and all but i'm not sure if i want to just jump into dangerous waters. Everyone knows that i'm those touchey people. To add to that i've never really had a boyfriend(not really allowed) and i'm afraid of what will happen. I mean he probably has a girlfriend, taken that he's such a sweet person and all. And i'm...fat, stupid and lazy. I don't think he would like me that way. Why not Nikki, or Steffie or Anh? I mean the crush was probably going to go away but now i don't really think it will now because i'm too busy being scared at what will happen now...i want to be friends with him...but i don't think i can keep that up too because of the way i am...i'm scared...i hope this doesn't change my feelings on things becuase, as i've told steffie, if he has a girlfriend(probably does) i would feel sad, but kind of happy for a while...and hopefully go away, but if he doesn't, i feel happy but also worried because of what Nikki, Steffie and Anh want to do....I'm chickening.....someone help meh! (LoL i hope the crush goes away so i can be myself....)

2004-11-02T19:12:00.000-08:00

Name:: Anne
Age:: 15
Shoe Size:: 7-9, depends...
Height:: 5"3
Shirt Size::m-xL (or bigger, lol, i lurv big shirts!)
Innie or Outie?: Innie

Love Questions
Are you in Love?: I wish i was...-cried a river lol jkjk-
Are you single or taken?: single
If single, for how long?: foreva!
If taken, for how long?: long i hope...
If taken, by whom?: Teeheee...that's for me to know only!
Do you like guys or girls?: guys definetly
What do you think about Sporty guys?: They're cool...
Smart?: Yay! Can you help me with mah homework?
Dorky?: LoL, gotta lurv 'em
Popular?: gotta hate 'em (or at least most of them, those that are asses)

Your Favorites
Kind of Food:: SASHIMI!! Or Japanese food in general...and spicy foods!
Color:: red, black, blue, purple
Song:: "She Will Be Loved" By Maroon 5, "Let's Get it Started" By the Black-eyed Peas, "Lean Back" By Terror Squad, "Getting Away with Murder" By Papa Roach, "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" By Green Day
Band:: Papa Roach, Korn, Chevelle, Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, and more but i can't think of them...
Singer:: No singer, only bands
CD:: erm...no CD's either only XM Satellite
Kind of Music:: Rock, Punk, Some of the Hits
Animal:: Doggies, Kitties
Place to be?: Just anywhere romantic or fun with someone i like...or somewhere fun with mah homie-Gs! (lol)
Vacation spot:: Anywhere beautiful...
Actor:: none
Actress:: none
Comedian:: none
Soap Opera:: Don't watch any
Day Time Talk Show:: Don't watch any
Game Show:: Don't watch any
All Around Favorite Show:: Charmed, Gilmore Girls, Smallville
Drink:: Milk!!! (lol i wanna try "Smurnoff Icee", it's a wine...that supposidly tastes like heaven)
Restaurant:: Yoyogi's Japanese Restaurant
Number:: 3, 7, 8
Letter:: A
Word:: FACKIT!, or FACK YOU!

Your Short Opinion on..
George W. Bush:: Monkey, stoopid war starter...better than Kerry tho...
Gay Marriage:: marry who you want to marry
Rocketing Gas Prices:: Fackit...it's all bull
Minimum Wage ($6.75):: that's minimum?
Drunk Driving:: stoopid youngins...jk, bad, bad!
Legal Driving Age:: erm...can i drive now? (ppl: NO!)
Anorexia:: Tried it, i suck, or it sux?
Mary-Kate and Anorexia:: Dood! She's skinny enuff already! U wanna be a pixie stix!?
Lindsay Lohan (18) and her 23-year-old boyfriend:: ooo, older guys....
Young Marriages:: good luck
Young Parents:: whoa, can we say "Protection"?
Pregnency without a Marriage:: .......it's ur life...
Telemarketers:: GET AWAY FROM ME!!
Pop Quizzes:: a buncha bull
This Survey:: it's cool...gimme more!

2004-11-02T18:59:00.000-08:00

01. I have a cell phone.
02. I'm in love. i want to be...
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am a shopoholic.
05. I love hoop earrings.
06. I am a libra. ...i'm a virgo...
07. I love vodka. never tasted it...
09. I can't live without lip gloss.
10. I can't live without music.
11. I lived in Purgatory for 3 months.
12. I spend money I don't have.
13. I'll be in college forever.
14. I've seen Jason Mraz.
15. I get annoyed easily.
16. I eventually want kids.
18. I have more than a couple of horrible memories.
19. I am addicted to Lizzie McGuire.
20. I have kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
21. I see a therapist.
22. I've tried writing poetry before but it sucked.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. My dreams are bizarre.
27. One of my close friends is gay.
28. I have way too many purses.
29. I feel empty sometimes.
30. I usually dress how I feel that day.
31. I love 'Sex and the City'!
32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason.
33. I hate when people are late.
34. I procrastinate.
35. I love winter.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser. or maybe my closet/dresser is too small? (lol)
37. I love to sleep.
38. I wish I were smarter.
39. I'm afraid of flying.
40. I hate drama.
41. No one really knows me.
42. I like my hair. Sometimes
43. I never fight with my parents.
44. I love the beach.
45. I have never had the chicken pox.
46. I'm excited for the future.
47. I can't control my emotions. cant control my urges either.
48. I can't wait till New Year's.
49. I love the show 'Rich Girls'.
50. I love my friends.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure sometimes.
53. I have never broken a bone.
54. I hate racist people.
55. I hate my computer.
56. I love guys that play the guitar. -- and or bass.
57. I state the obvious. ALWAYS (lol)
58. I'm generally a happy person.
59. I love to dance.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous very easily. depends on what...
63. I love cute underwear.
64. I love John Mayer.
65. I cry when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused.
66. I want to go to Greece.
67. I don't like to study for tests. does anyone?
68. I love God.
69. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a horrible sense of direction.
71. I love high school.
72. I have a talent of sweet-talking my way out of things.
73. I'm a daddy's girl.
74. I love kisses.
75. I love the color pink.
76. I love to sew. i wanna learn
77. I have green eyes.
78. I'm not good with confrontation.
79. I wear black eyeliner every day.
80. I become stressed easily.
81. I hate liars.
82. I like comfy sweatpants.
83. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat beef. yeah right!
84. I love the smell of asphalt after it's rained.
85. I love my family. yes, despite what they do to me...
86. I hate needles.
87. I am a perfectionist. sometimes
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
90. I am still a virgin.
91. I would love to have my own fashion line.
92. I am quite selfish.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. Above all, I despise dishonesty.
95. I love pictures.
96. I love music.
97. I wish I were more motivated when it comes to school.
98. I love getting stuff in the mail.
99. I have problems letting go of people.
100. I hate the feeling of being alone.

2004-11-02T18:01:00.000-08:00

I didn't wanna do my History Research paper so i did this instead....

BOLD the ones that Apply to you

I own binoculars.
My hair brush is purple.
My room looks like a tornado hit it.
When I was little I used to collect beanie babies.
When I was little I used to collect acorns.
I like the song "Hey Ya"
I don't believe in chain letters.
I like to rake leaves in the Fall
I am a winter baby.
I wish I was older then I am now.
I eat squid.
I have a boyfriend/girlfriend.
I wear make up all the time.
My hair is its natural color.
I want a golf cart.
I like to play soccer
I like to build igloos in the snow
I like Sugarcult.
I want a convertible
I like to write poems
I eat popcorn at the movies
I go to the movies at least 2 times a week
I believe in angels
I have a dog
I go camping
I dress up at Halloween
I wanna be a teacher
I like the color gray
Social Studies, History, or World Cultures is my least favorite subject
I go to a private school
I am a cheerleader
I like carebears
I sleep to 12 in the summer and on weekends
I like Cameron Diaz.
I have seen the movie "8 Crazy Nights" at least 3 times
My moms name is Patricia
I am a SHOP-O-HOLIC
I hate to read
I believe in love at first sight
I like to wear black
I love to skateboard
I like to surf
I rent movies all the time
I like surveys
My favorite day of the week is Friday
I have blonde hair
I am a brunette
I am boy CrAzY (sometimes)
I like horses
I have a hermit crab.

Have you ever..
Smoked Pot? never
Kissed Someone? do you mean on the cheek?
Had Oral Sex? no
Had Sex? no
Did a Cartwheel? no
Kissed in the rain? i wish that would happen...-sigh- so romantic...
Had a pedicure? no
Played tennis? yea
Swam in a thunderstorm? yep
Surfed? no
Drank strawberry milk? yep
Been to California? no
Been to Flordia? yep
Been out of the country? yeap
Played strip poker? nope nope
Played regular poker? nope nope
Climbed a tree? no
Broken an arm? no
Broke a mirror? no
Punched someone? yep yep
Ate Paper? nope
Failed a test? definetly
Skipped school? erm, yeah
Been out to dinner without your parents? yep yep
Driven without a license? no
Stolen something over $30? no
Kissed someone of the same sex? can it be on the cheek?
Been pregnat? no, shyeah right!
Been to Walt Disney World? yea
Watched porn? no
Listened to nysnc? a llllllloooooonnnnnnggggggg lllllloooooooonnnnnnnnggggggg time ago
Played Spin the Bottle? kind of...we never got past the first person because they wouldn't kiss...
Drank Beer? no, does wine count?
Been to six Flags? yea
Watched MTV Video Clash? yea

2004-10-31T13:24:00.000-08:00

You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-10-31T12:11:00.000-08:00

OMG this was at Veronica's quincinera yesterday! It was so much fun. Dood! She has like 15 guy friends there and like only 10 girls friends there. I didn't mind (lol). But like i said "OMG" her guy friends were really adorable, nice, sweet and funny! I wish there were more guys like that at GC...-sigh- oh well, i wanna see them all again! LoL yesterday was so much fun xcept no one asked me to dance but Alexis and she's a girl, lol...oh well...gotta get them all out for laser tag...LASER TAG RULES!!

a [smile] hides a thousand [x] tears

2004-10-28T20:53:00.000-07:00

LMAO LMAO!! I had the funnyestest convo with Jon today! LMAO! LMAO! I fell asleep at 5 and i woke up at 8 and i ate dinner then i went online and did my hw while i was chatting, i was laffing my arse off! LMAO! Gotta lurv yah dood!

EnGMaStA (11:15:45 PM): hey your icon is da volleyball jont
EnGMaStA (11:15:47 PM): HEY!!
EnGMaStA (11:15:50 PM): no1s winnin
xox0innocent0xox (11:15:50 PM): lol
xox0innocent0xox (11:15:55 PM): lmao!
xox0innocent0xox (11:16:01 PM): u just realized that?
EnGMaStA (11:16:05 PM): yes
EnGMaStA (11:16:09 PM): come on some1 friggin win
EnGMaStA (11:16:15 PM): ive been watchin dis game 4 10minutes
xox0innocent0xox (11:16:29 PM): lmao, r u bored? lmao i'm rooting for the girl!!
EnGMaStA (11:16:36 PM): wait
EnGMaStA (11:16:39 PM): which 1 is da girl
xox0innocent0xox (11:16:44 PM): i dunno
xox0innocent0xox (11:16:51 PM): which1's winning?
EnGMaStA (11:16:55 PM): neither
EnGMaStA (11:17:01 PM): they mus b really good
xox0innocent0xox (11:17:16 PM): lol yeah, but then which one's the guy!?EnGMaStA (11:18:17 PM): mayb there Heshes
xox0innocent0xox (11:18:28 PM): what's Heshes?
EnGMaStA (11:18:34 PM): its a HE SHE
xox0innocent0xox (11:18:45 PM): ooooo!! but wait!
xox0innocent0xox (11:18:54 PM): what if they're SHE-HEs!?
EnGMaStA (11:19:00 PM): OH SNAP
EnGMaStA (11:19:07 PM): YOUR ON2 SOMETHIN DER
xox0innocent0xox (11:19:20 PM): lol!
xox0innocent0xox (11:20:05 PM): i think...they're HE-SHEs...b.c. they gots no boobies...oh, wait...they do...no...no wait, do they?!
EnGMaStA (11:20:20 PM): i unno
EnGMaStA (11:20:25 PM): mayb der aliens!!
xox0innocent0xox (11:20:35 PM): aliens playv-ball?
EnGMaStA (11:20:47 PM): mayb dey call it alienball
EnGMaStA (11:20:54 PM): wait
EnGMaStA (11:21:00 PM): i thought aliens were supposed 2 b green
xox0innocent0xox (11:21:14 PM): lmao, i think they are, wait, i thought they were blue
EnGMaStA (11:21:19 PM): i unno
EnGMaStA (11:21:25 PM): no wait
EnGMaStA (11:21:32 PM): blue aliens come from nebulon 5
EnGMaStA (11:21:39 PM): green 1s come from mars
xox0innocent0xox (11:21:41 PM): where;s that?
xox0innocent0xox (11:21:48 PM): i thought red ones come from mars
EnGMaStA (11:21:53 PM): ok then fine
xox0innocent0xox (11:22:01 PM): green ones come from neptune?
EnGMaStA (11:22:10 PM): they come from wherever they feel like it
xox0innocent0xox (11:22:26 PM): oh, okay, that's better lol
EnGMaStA (11:22:33 PM): no
EnGMaStA (11:22:37 PM): i kno where dey come fromxox0innocent0xox (11:22:39 PM): still, they're bald!!
EnGMaStA (11:22:42 PM): dey come from der mom
xox0innocent0xox (11:22:58 PM): lmao, no duh, but, but they're bald!
EnGMaStA (11:23:05 PM): YES
EnGMaStA (11:23:07 PM): its a sign
EnGMaStA (11:23:13 PM): where do white aliens come froom
xox0innocent0xox (11:23:22 PM): erm...white ppl?
xox0innocent0xox (11:23:47 PM): i unno
EnGMaStA (11:23:47 PM): no
xox0innocent0xox (11:23:50 PM): no?
EnGMaStA (11:24:02 PM): dey come from
EnGMaStA (11:24:06 PM): nebulon 4
EnGMaStA (11:24:15 PM): of da star wars galaxy
xox0innocent0xox (11:25:02 PM): lmao, but still are they heshes or shehes?
xox0innocent0xox (11:25:08 PM): aliens that is
EnGMaStA (11:25:22 PM): umm...i kno they got unabrows
xox0innocent0xox (11:25:48 PM): they do? i dun see a unibrow, they dun got brows, sum1 shaved them off!!
EnGMaStA (11:25:59 PM): i DID
EnGMaStA (11:26:05 PM): it was embarrassing 2 c dem with it
xox0innocent0xox (11:26:06 PM): wtf!
xox0innocent0xox (11:26:15 PM): lmao!
EnGMaStA (11:26:15 PM): its like der baptism
EnGMaStA (11:26:20 PM): insted of water
EnGMaStA (11:26:22 PM): dey shave
xox0innocent0xox (11:26:44 PM): whoa! so YOU SHAVED their backs too!!
EnGMaStA (11:26:50 PM): dey sahveEnGMaStA (11:26:54 PM): der eyebrows
EnGMaStA (11:26:55 PM): smart
EnGMaStA (11:27:08 PM): they dun got hair on der back when der babies
EnGMaStA (11:27:12 PM): dey were kool enuff
EnGMaStA (11:27:16 PM): werent
xox0innocent0xox (11:27:28 PM): lmao, but what about their nose hair?
EnGMaStA (11:27:33 PM): well
EnGMaStA (11:27:38 PM): dey can deal wit dat demself
EnGMaStA (11:27:43 PM): dats der problem
EnGMaStA (11:27:54 PM): dey da 1s who put it in der in da first place
xox0innocent0xox (11:28:08 PM): lmao! wait, they put what in there!?
EnGMaStA (11:28:13 PM): their hair
EnGMaStA (11:28:15 PM): in der nose
xox0innocent0xox (11:28:39 PM): how?
EnGMaStA (11:28:43 PM): i unno
EnGMaStA (11:28:50 PM): y r we talkin bout this?!?!?!
xox0innocent0xox (11:29:23 PM): i dunno, bc YOU BAPTIZED/SHAVED THEIR UNIBROWS!!!
xox0innocent0xox (11:29:29 PM): UNIBROW KILLER!!
EnGMaStA (11:30:01 PM): well dey grow back
xox0innocent0xox (11:30:24 PM): but they're gone, no1 can look at them now, and their nose hairs are too long
xox0innocent0xox (11:30:31 PM): could you shave those too?
EnGMaStA (11:31:06 PM): no
xox0innocent0xox (11:31:25 PM): y? u shaved their unibrows, y not their nose hair?
EnGMaStA (11:31:34 PM): y mus u ask so many questions
xox0innocent0xox (11:31:49 PM): b.c. we dunno if they're shehes or heshes
EnGMaStA (11:32:02 PM): da blue green n yello 1s r heshes
EnGMaStA (11:32:07 PM): da rest r shehes
xox0innocent0xox (11:32:27 PM): but they're wearing yellow shirts and they're wite
xox0innocent0xox (11:32:30 PM): white
EnGMaStA (11:32:33 PM): UHH
EnGMaStA (11:32:35 PM): confusing
xox0innocent0xox (11:32:42 PM): lmao i kno
xox0innocent0xox (11:33:05 PM): wait, what about ur icon! HE/SHE/SHEHE/HESHE HAS A UNIBROW!!!
EnGMaStA (11:33:18 PM): dammit u noticed
EnGMaStA (11:34:08 PM): shoot
EnGMaStA (11:34:17 PM): well c its rainin n thunderin on him
EnGMaStA (11:34:22 PM): so some1 is mad at him
EnGMaStA (11:34:30 PM): dat b/c he dint shave his unibrow
xox0innocent0xox (11:34:52 PM): erm...y didn't he shave b4 it rained and thundered?
EnGMaStA (11:35:03 PM): the lord got pissed offa t him
xox0innocent0xox (11:35:26 PM): so god got mad at heshe and he didn't shave?
EnGMaStA (11:35:43 PM): b/c he dint shave
EnGMaStA (11:35:50 PM): n das y He mad
xox0innocent0xox (11:35:56 PM): oooo
EnGMaStA (11:36:01 PM): lol
xox0innocent0xox (11:36:39 PM): so heshe deserved the thunder and rain b.c. heshe didn't shave and god got mad at him
xox0innocent0xox (11:36:44 PM): oooo i get it now lol!
xox0innocent0xox (11:36:52 PM): HESHE'S FROM MARS!!
EnGMaStA (11:37:27 PM): YESS!!!!
xox0innocent0xox (11:38:03 PM): okay, so ur icon's from mars, wut about mine?
EnGMaStA (11:39:52 PM): u,mm
EnGMaStA (11:39:57 PM): its from volleyball land
EnGMaStA (11:40:01 PM): ok sleep
EnGMaStA (11:40:04 PM): i need sleep
xox0innocent0xox (11:40:04 PM): okie dokie
xox0innocent0xox (11:40:09 PM): night night
EnGMaStA (11:40:09 PM): i talk 2 u bout dis 2morro
xox0innocent0xox (11:40:21 PM): c u in lit! DUN DUN DUN!!
EnGMaStA (11:40:31 PM): lol
EnGMaStA (11:40:36 PM): n ima b dresed as azn
xox0innocent0xox (11:40:44 PM): lmao me too!
EnGMaStA (11:40:55 PM): ima b
EnGMaStA (11:41:07 PM): i dress 2 impress
xox0innocent0xox (11:41:20 PM): lol
EnGMaStA (11:41:23 PM): lol
EnGMaStA (11:41:25 PM): ok good night
xox0innocent0xox (11:41:26 PM): night
EnGMaStA signed off at 11:41:35 PM.

2004-10-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

i feel like a lazy arse...-gasp- i hafta remember to bring aluminum foil to school tommorraw for the plaster sculpture project. Or else i shall have to use wire again, and i DO NOT want to use wire...argh a pain in the arse. Any ways, I GOT AN A!!! I GOT AN A!!! In my HISTORY TEST!! YES!!! I am so HAPPY! OMG i didn't really study for that test so i was like feakin' out and cold sweating all over when he was like "I'm gonna hand out your Tests" i was like omg, omg, omg, omg, oh shite oh gawd fackshite....

AND THEN I GOT A 90%!!! I WAS SO HAPPY!!! and i ALSO GOT A 94% on my art project!! I HAVE NEVER GOTTEN A 94 on my art projects b4! (or at least not when ms. davis was teaching...gawd she pissed me off...jackoff byatch)

_WHINES, B-WARE_

OMG, steffie has not fricken called me or even talked to me this WHOLE MONTH!! i feel so left out, i mean we HAVE talked on the phone but it was extremely short and I called her, not vice versa. -sniff- she talks to nikki and alex even more than me...i feel like everybody's leaving me out...not just steffie, but even nikki and other people...this suxs like crap... as i've said before...

FACKSHIT!!!

2004-10-25T16:10:00.000-07:00

Argh, gawd fackshit it!! I forgot my fackin' Physics book at school AGAIN! and i seriously NNEEEEDDDD the extra credit...oh well, i'll try to get to school early and do it in the bathroom again! (hehe...)...

GAWD FACKSHITE IT! i just pigged out on two handfulls of cheetos! Fack it! Oh yeah, today i flashed my panties at some car...

BY ACCIDENT!! I mean i went to basket robins with Anh, Carolyn, Laura, Tanya, Sara and Amanda (who were doing their little "thang" as usual) and on the way back at about 3:25 i had to go and so me and Anh went out with Sara and Amanda who had ran ahead and ditched us. But then when we were across the road Laura came and we screamed at her to run, to cross the stread and she did but then when she neared the curb her book bag came undone and her books spilled in the street and i ran and helped her get them for her and the cars could see my boxer panties. I feel sssoooo gawd fackin' smart...

Hey i just realized that i have a kewl list of substitute cursewords...lol and they're MY TRADEMARK!! lol but mah friends can use them!
Fackshit
F*ckshite
gawd fack you!
and much more that i can't remember...laff @ me!

2004-10-23T11:49:00.000-07:00

I feel like shite. I missed the facking Volunteer meeting for the facking voters crap and they won't let me participate and i know my mom and dad are gonna yell at me for being irresponsible and shite. I mean i'm not even a fuckshite politician and i don't really give a fuckshite. I'm pissed that i suck at volleyball when i love it so much...
I'm pissed that i'm a fuckshite retard...
I'm pissed that no one appreciated me...
I'm pissed that i have not real friends anymore, in my opinion that is...
I'm pissed that i am life's biggest reject...
I'm pissed at the fact that i am a fuckshite hopeless dreamer...
I'm pissed that no one takes me seriously anymore...
I'm pissed at people who think that their life's all that and that they have problems and no one's life sucks as much as theirs...
I'm pissed at people who take me for granted...
I'm pissed at people who make me cry...
I'm pissed at people who never make me feel loved anymore...
I'm pissed at people who think i can do anything i want, when i can't...
I'm pissed at people who don't care about me...
I'm pissed at people who leave me out...
I'm pissed at people who ignore me and make me feel bad [see above]...
I'm pissed at the fact that i'm forgetful...
I'm pissed at the fact that i'm irrisponsible...
I'm pissed at the fact that i'm unliked...
I'm pissed at the fact that i'm unloved...
I'm pissed at the fact that i'm a lazy fat bitch...
I'm pissed at the fact that i can't achieve my goals...

Overall i'm a fuckshite failure...

2004-10-20T19:45:00.000-07:00

xox0innocent0xox (9:50:27 PM): ne ways, i actually did it...and it kinda came out true...
EverCrying (9:50:33 PM): same here
EverCrying (9:50:41 PM): REALLY TRUE. so true it was scary
EverCrying (9:50:44 PM): lol
EverCrying (9:50:51 PM): send me your results and I'll send you mine!
xox0innocent0xox (9:51:40 PM): i dont remember mine, i had my bro take it and then i shredded the paper so no one could see the deep scary things i wrote down, lol
EverCrying (9:51:48 PM): lol EverCrying (9:51:59 PM): Me send it to you?
xox0innocent0xox (9:52:07 PM): ?
EverCrying (9:52:11 PM): nvm
xox0innocent0xox (9:52:20 PM): what were urs>?
EverCrying (9:52:59 PM): okay, this will take a few sec to type lol. I saved the loseleaf I wrote it on
xox0innocent0xox (9:53:13 PM): lol its ok
EverCrying (9:53:17 PM): 1. Lucki#= 5
EverCrying (9:53:29 PM): 2. #ofppl to tell = 14
xox0innocent0xox (9:53:38 PM): lol that's alot
EverCrying (9:53:39 PM): 3. Jonah
EverCrying (9:53:46 PM): 4. Mom
EverCrying (9:53:58 PM): (person care about best)
EverCrying (9:54:16 PM): 5. Anh (Knows me best)
EverCrying (9:54:26 PM): 6. Steph (Lucky star)
EverCrying (9:54:34 PM): 7. Freddie
EverCrying (9:54:46 PM): 8. She will be loved (Relates to Jonah)
xox0innocent0xox (9:54:51 PM): hey!!
xox0innocent0xox (9:54:55 PM): that was my song!
EverCrying (9:55:02 PM): 9. American Idiot (relates to Freddie) LMAO x
ox0innocent0xox (9:55:05 PM): lol
EverCrying (9:55:19 PM): 10. Happy Ending (idea of my mind)
EverCrying (9:55:31 PM): 11. CurbSide Prophet (view on life)
EverCrying (9:55:45 PM): When I figured out the Freddie thing I was laughing so hard
EverCrying (9:55:52 PM): I didn't cheat at all!
xox0innocent0xox (9:55:54 PM): lol
EverCrying (9:55:55 PM): It was sooo fuuuuunnny
xox0innocent0xox (9:56:51 PM): my like but never will happen is ryan lol, i was like ppsshhhyyyeaaah didn't need a genius to tell me
EverCrying (9:57:11 PM): lol
xox0innocent0xox (9:57:16 PM): and MY #8 was She will be loved
EverCrying (9:57:26 PM): LOL. ESPN! DUDE
xox0innocent0xox (9:57:40 PM): lmao, yeah we;re like that "espn"
xox0innocent0xox (9:57:56 PM): and my #9 was...erm...i think it was a thousand words
xox0innocent0xox (9:58:25 PM): and #10 was Boulevard of Broken Dreams and 11 was Getting away with murder...aint that freaky?
EverCrying (10:00:09 PM): Just a bit... *inches away slowly*
xox0innocent0xox (10:00:39 PM): it's true! my idea of life is that it's practiaccally a whole tangle of lies!
xox0innocent0xox (10:00:44 PM): and i am always sad
EverCrying (10:01:35 PM): We need to fix that!
EverCrying (10:01:41 PM): You just need to be more positive
EverCrying (10:01:46 PM): lol
EverCrying (10:01:56 PM): venting on diaries always works
EverCrying (10:02:04 PM): after you vent it feels soo good
xox0innocent0xox (10:02:06 PM): mayb mayb not
EverCrying (10:02:09 PM): lol
xox0innocent0xox (10:02:12 PM): not really for me
EverCrying (10:02:14 PM): just try anne
EverCrying (10:02:24 PM): though it feels really good to cry
xox0innocent0xox (10:02:26 PM): i already have, have u not read my blog?
xox0innocent0xox (10:02:36 PM): no, i hate crying, it makes me sadder
EverCrying (10:02:56 PM): Oh. Sorry
EverCrying (10:03:05 PM): I like crying, it makes me feel lighter
xox0innocent0xox (10:03:09 PM): is ok
xox0innocent0xox (10:03:17 PM): its just how i am
EverCrying (10:03:21 PM): I HEART YOU ANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
xox0innocent0xox (10:03:33 PM): really?
EverCrying (10:03:40 PM): Remember! We'll be seeing each other on the 30th!
EverCrying (10:03:44 PM): Not too far away
xox0innocent0xox (10:03:55 PM): yep yep, and i'll look hideous and fat as usual
EverCrying (10:05:28 PM): You know, that's proof right there that the reason you
EverCrying (10:05:29 PM): re
EverCrying (10:05:34 PM): sad is your fault
EverCrying (10:05:39 PM): you say things like that. xox0innocent0xox (10:05:41 PM): i kno
xox0innocent0xox (10:05:49 PM): and that's a problem bc...?
xox0innocent0xox (10:06:01 PM): lol i dun find that i problemEverCrying (10:06:07 PM): bc, your saying how sad you are when it's your fault
EverCrying (10:06:12 PM): You can fix it
xox0innocent0xox (10:06:14 PM): it is
xox0innocent0xox (10:06:16 PM): i kno
EverCrying (10:07:09 PM): Then try starting by not saying that. You may not mean it at first, you may think that you are fat and everything, but just saying that your not/typing it is just the first step
EverCrying (10:07:42 PM): It's like how some people get over their nervousness. They act (drama) like they aren't a nervous person. Eventually, it becomes them.
xox0innocent0xox (10:07:48 PM): dood, every1 kno it's true
EverCrying (10:08:06 PM): Then why aren't YOU doing it?
EverCrying (10:08:12 PM): If you know it's true?
EverCrying (10:08:19 PM): Sheesh Anne. You're making me depressed
EverCrying (10:08:20 PM): lol
EverCrying (10:08:32 PM): Usually I'm the one going to yOu
xox0innocent0xox (10:08:51 PM): i am doing it but i cant help it
xox0innocent0xox (10:08:59 PM): i'm not a dedicated person
xox0innocent0xox (10:09:09 PM): i'm depressed
EverCrying (10:10:42 PM): well I guess you can't help it then. Since you keep on saying you can't.
EverCrying (10:11:00 PM): I guess your not dedicated, you always say your not.
EverCrying (10:11:27 PM): Anne! You're one of the happiest persons in the world when you're happy
EverCrying (10:11:40 PM): You just need to stay up there
xox0innocent0xox (10:12:03 PM): but i can't as both u and i have already said, i'm NOT a dedicated person, i cant do things
xox0innocent0xox (10:12:15 PM): about it
EverCrying (10:12:46 PM): Okay.
EverCrying (10:12:55 PM): I'm officially depressed again.
xox0innocent0xox (10:13:24 PM): oh please, r u still pmsing?
EverCrying (10:14:32 PM): IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR PMSING
EverCrying (10:14:40 PM): Don't oh please me.
xox0innocent0xox (10:14:49 PM): nope, my period went away a week ago
EverCrying (10:14:51 PM): I get to oh pleas eyou
xox0innocent0xox (10:14:58 PM): that dont sound rite
EverCrying (10:15:03 PM): I don;t care
EverCrying (10:15:06 PM): ugh.
xox0innocent0xox (10:15:10 PM): lol
EverCrying (10:15:45 PM): Anne. I'm so not laughing. When someone is laughing, I laugh. When someone acts depressed, esspecially one of my best friends, I get DEPRESSED TO.
EverCrying (10:16:16 PM): Anne, you have a great life and just need to stop looking on the pissy side
xox0innocent0xox (10:16:20 PM): so would i, but nikki you know my whole life is screwed up, even in the littlelist ways
EverCrying (10:16:45 PM): Everyone including me and you have fucked up ends of life, but just like you gave me the long speech on, we have each other to get out of it
EverCrying (10:17:05 PM): you just need to stop pms mode. Your pms may be gone, but your mind seems set on it
xox0innocent0xox (10:17:12 PM): nikki, i HELP others, i dont GET helped, that's th eproblem
EverCrying (10:17:25 PM): *WHINE* I"M TRYING!
EverCrying (10:17:39 PM): I'm so bad at this! I'm usually the helpless one
xox0innocent0xox (10:17:56 PM): nikki, lol this is funny
EverCrying (10:18:12 PM): NOT FUNNY.
xox0innocent0xox (10:18:16 PM): is funny
EverCrying (10:18:38 PM): ...
EverCrying (10:19:19 PM): okay. I'll try to laugh.
xox0innocent0xox (10:19:33 PM): your tactics don't really work online., oh but don't get me wrong, this doesn't suit you at all, not even the littlist bit
EverCrying (10:19:52 PM): ack.
xox0innocent0xox (10:20:04 PM): ur the one who makes people laugh, i help people with their BIG upsetting problems, anh gets the smaller jobs and steffie just gets frustrated
EverCrying (10:20:15 PM): LOL.
EverCrying (10:20:21 PM): That'sfunny.
xox0innocent0xox (10:20:23 PM): that's just the plain truthxox0innocent0xox (10:20:32 PM): steff's gonna kill me...lol
EverCrying (10:20:34 PM): Anh gets depressed too
EverCrying (10:20:40 PM): kinda more often
xox0innocent0xox (10:21:10 PM): yeah, but i handle her so she can take the little jobs that i'm too lazy to do
EverCrying (10:21:14 PM): why is steph going to kill you?
xox0innocent0xox (10:21:29 PM): because i said her jobs just standing there and geting frustrated
xox0innocent0xox (10:22:49 PM): if it makes u feel better, i'm gonna put this convo up on mah blog

2004-10-19T19:29:00.000-07:00

OMG i am in so much trouble. I have to take a spanish test tommorraw after school and i am so not ready! ShItE! Shite, shite, shite! I am so dead. Oh we won out game vs. Carroll, they were easy, it was sad really it was something like 10-25,13-25 and it was even sadder for varsity...i dont remember the score but it was sad...

2004-10-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
She will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

Tap on my window, knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

-By Maroon 5
"She will be Loved"

I love this song...b/c i can relate to it. It's really sad, I'm really sad thinking about this song. It reminds me that i don't have a boyfriend that really cares about me and would stand in the pouring rain just to win my heart. Tsk, sigh, too bad there are no such guys in the world today, now THAT's sad. It'd be really romantic too! It's even adorable thinking about it, a really hot [not to mention sweet and adorable] guy standing in your yard, holding a bouque(sp?) of flowers or even just standing there, waiting for you to come out...-sigh- Oh well...

2004-10-16T20:10:00.000-07:00

OMG i'm so tired, no interaction with jeff today, not that i really cared. But i guess you can say my love life is so gay b.c. whenever i like someone they don't know i exist, but when i don't like them anymore they kind of interact with me...then everything just goes haywire...

I feel like shit, and whatever anyone does or says gets me agrgivated, -hinting at steffie-. I don't really give a fuck it was just a simple question and you were avoiding it, you know it. How long have i known you steffie? 4/5 years? And what am i? One of your best friends? I can see through you...even if it is online.

Hey today i actually made contact and talk to a guy @ CCACC other than Alan, Brendan, Kevin and Daniel. I think his name's Jim or Tim, but i pretended to punch him in the face b.c. he said we were gonna lose the game anyway. And i also talked to Chester, i mean it wasn't a big thing but he was on my team and stuff. Hey i never knew he was in college, i thought he was a high school senior! So surprising, i kinda feel bad [but not really] b.c. he's my height and i'm really short! But then i again i don't b.c. he's really outgoing and a REALLY good player. I mean he's not ugly, or cute either, just in the middle.

Oh, hah, i just realized that i don't like anyone anymore, my little 'obsession' with jeff wore off yesterday when i was trying to get my mind off the whole incident with the school volleyball team. I was looking at the CCACC summer volleyball pictures and no thought passed by me about jeff, i mean seriously when i looked at him i was like, oh that's jeff so what?, i mean it was so weird...but then again, i AM the definition of weird...

And did i mention slow? ^^

2004-10-14T18:19:00.000-07:00

Omg, i feel like crying so much, wait...i did, in the bathroom. Today was shit, i don't know why but everything that i do makes everyone make fun of me, and i hate it so much. I can't help how i am! I hated it today when people joke with you when you seem sad. When i mean 'joke' i mean in a way that pisses you off when your not in the mood. I wasn't entirely pissed off, but it just got me more and more upset that i eventually gave up and sat by myself. I couldn't take it anymore, i CAN'T take it anymore, i just don't care...Maybe i'm just PMSing or something but, before i never wanted to be alone, i would do anything, even be stupid to have someone with me, but i can't do it anymore, even if it means i'm hanging out with little kids, then fine, i give up, i don't care, it doesn't matter that i'm anti-social, i want to be. It's funny how my life is so screwed up. But i think that i'm finally giving up, i've finally snapped, nothing matters to me anymore. I don't give a shit...

I'll cry when i fall asleep, but thank you Christian and Katie for talking to me when i was feeling down, i love you guys. I love anyone else who would do that if they were on aim. It made me feel better...I love you guys...thank you...

2004-10-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

Argh, nothing happened much today except the fact that i went to mah daddy's office and i studied for the whole fricken day! Well, i took a break @ lunch and went out to eat with mah mommy and we went to the Hinodo or something near congresional plaza...Man it sucked! Dr. Tran said that it had a great sushi buffet, HA! Shyeah right, it sucked like crap, the rice was more than twice as thick as the stuff inside...good gawd, and there were alot of people there too! GeezieBejizies...Oh well, then i went to practice, but it was okay, but seriously, what is wrong with me!? I do ssoooo much better @ the CCACC sessions...Nikki, if ur reading this, NO it's NOT b/c of Jeff, thank you very much...Maybe it's because i'm not very comfortable with the coaches, i mean i know i can do better but, i don't know...Oh well, enough thinking for today...YAY! Nikki commented, she was the first to comment on my blog after i put in the comment codes that ACTUALLY worked, HA! In ur face Xanga users! (-sticks out tounge- basically all my friends who use xanga, cuz in my blog you dun gotta have an account to comment like stoopid xanga does, HAHA!! ^^) I lurv yah guys...

-Gasp- Oh yeah, i bought Veronica's B-Day present, oh, that reminds me, i have to bug anh about what to wear, steffie says i hafta wear a dress, but i dun have a dress, i wanna wear a really cute two piece!

2004-10-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

Your Element Is Dark. Dark brought the land
well...darkness. Darkness is beauty also! The
Dark Element is forever at a battle with the
Light Element. Dark isn't evil,just is treated
differently than others,she wants justice and
rights. Being a Dark Element you are fasinated
with dark creatures like werewolves and
vampires. People think you're evil,but that
isn't true. You are just different than most.
If somebody took the time to observe Dark,the
beauty of the night is wonderful. Dark is a
loner,probulay cause she likes her own company.
Being the Dark Element you are talented
artistic wise and prefer your own companty than
others. Congrads! There aren't many like you!
Feel special! ^^

What Element Are You? For Girls only! Lovely Anime Pictures!
brought to you by Quizilla

Nothing really happened today...hm....

2004-10-09T20:06:00.000-07:00

Oh my god...Today was really mixed. I mean, today at first was really boring and gay because i spent the whole day studying for the PSAT on wednesday. Then at the volleyball session we were shagging balls and doing drills, then out of no were, when jeff's group was on for the defense drill, i was shagging a ball and when i stood back up i winced because someone yelled "ANNE LOOK OUT!!" but when my eyes were closed, i felt something warm near me someone's breathing, and then i opened my eyes to see that jeff was ssssoooooooooo close from running into me. But the funny thing is that his hands were outstreatched and i thought he was gonna hug me. Don't get me wrong, i'm not obsessed over the guy but i find it kinda wierd that whenever i have the majorest crush on someone, nothing happens, then when i start to drift from liking them, i start to actually see more of them and actually talk to them...strange...dejavu...

Oh yeah! Last saturday i meant to post but i was so into getting a new layout that i completely forgot, i don't know how but...i eventually did...But yeah, last saturday during the volleyball session, most of the things happened during the game[near the end] but yeah, i was on jeff's team and i was tired, that day we went to Luxmanor ES and i went 2 hours early so i played with the A team and i was already exhausted and by the time we played the game for the B team i was dehydrated and tired. So i'm on jeff's team and he 'appoints' me as setter because he saw me play setter for the A team. And at the first game i'm like okay, fine...then we lose, but it's not my fault, it's Zero's for hitting the balls into the net. Then the next game he appoints me as setter again, and i'm like argh...fine, hey you can't blame me b/c i was dehydrated, and during that game, i accidentally tried to get a ball that wasn't mine which ended up hitting of my the tips of my fingertips and nearly hit Alan in the crotch. lol. The third game i'm grupy b/c i am once again the setter. fourth game Jeff sees that i'm tired so he says "your tired, do you wanna hit outside?" so i hit outside, which i am happy because, even though it's still an active place, it's not as exhausting as the setters. during that game, my daddy's patient, Mark is in the C team right, and the other team hit a ball out and it smacked him in the face and his glasses fell off, everyone was laffing @ him. lol yah gotta lurv volleyball, finally last game i'm back row [YES!] which is one of the easiest places there are. Basically we win 2 games and lost 3, but hey, we played 5 games in a row and at the end i gave jeff a high five and he gave me a low five and we actually talked...

HAHA, if you think that i'm getting dreamy on you, pppfffttt, now that we're actually making progress, maybe i should get myself to fall for him now...lol too bad i don't work that way...but i still think he's adorable. lurves...

--*he's the only one that i 'love' as in think he's cute and an awsome guy at the moment

2004-09-30T21:42:00.000-07:00

1)WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: erm, i'm not wearing any pants
2) Have you ever had a song written about you? nope
3) What song makes you cry? "Just like you" by (i forgot)
4) What song makes you happy? "Last Resort" By Papa Roach
5) HEIGHT: 5'3"
6) HAIR COLOR: black
7) EYE COLOR: brown
6) PIERCINGS: one in each ear
7) TATTOOS: haha, no
8) WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?: an oversized blue shirt
9) WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: "Last Resort" By Papa Roach
10) WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: Milk
11) WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: dark, cold, slightly windy and rainy
12) HOW ARE YOU?: Okay
13) GET MOTION SICKNESS? Yep yep
14) HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Haha, where do i start?
15) GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: Sure
16) LIKE TO DRIVE?: haha, i haven't even tried
17) BOYFRIEND?: Wish
18) GIRLFRIEND?: Erm, not really
19) CHILDREN?: Gee, i have 7
20) HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE? a little
21) BEEN HURT?: Definetly
22) YOUR GREATEST REGRET?: Now where did my list start?
23) YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW?: I lost it...haha
24) IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Purple
25) WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? A really Hot guy talking to me (like a friend)
26) WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: PAPA ROACH!!!!!!!!

Seven things in your room:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)

Top seven things you say most:
1)
2)
3)
4)

Do You:Smoke?: Shyeah right
Do drugs?: PPPpfffttttt, as if
Read the newspaper?: rarely
Pray?: when i have to
Have a Job: no
Attend Church: no

Have you ever:
Been in love?: Possibly, but i'm too confused to know
Gone skinny dipping?: no
Had a medical emergency?: not really
Had surgery?: nope
Swam in the dark?: yep
Been to a Bonfire?: no no
Got Drunk?: haha, as if
Ran away from home?: Definetly, but i was found
Played strip poker?: Erm...would i?
Gotten beaten up?: nope
Beaten someone up?: erm...does bitchslapping my brother count?
Been on stage?: yep
Slept outdoors?: nope
Pulled an all nighter?: haha, plenty of times
Been on radio/tv?: maybe...but i don't really recall
Been in a mosh-pit?: erm, a single person mosh, haha (from Erika)
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: HAHA! I wouldn't necessarily call Alex Stezar a "friend"
Describe your first kiss?: maybe when i get it...
Wallet?: i need one
Coffee?: love it
Cologne/Perfume: eeewww...all of them are too strong

In the last 24 Hours have you....:
Cried: no
Bought something: yep
Gotten sick: not really
Sang: yep yep
Been kissed: nope
Felt stupid: haha, i feel that everyday
Talked to an ex: no ex.
Talked to someone you have a crush on: no crush
Missed someone: yep yep
Hugged someone: yep yep yep

2004-08-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

I feel really sad right now. I mean, i was already slightly depressed about my weight this week but then just now, i find out that the people at sherwood make fun of my chest beacuse of what steffie said. It kind of just makes me cry to think that one of my best friends would make up stuff about me and make me look bad in front of people that i don't even know. I don't understand what i did to deserve this. I thought that we were friends, do friends make up stuff to tell the people at their school and give them a bad rep? I don't know what to think anymore. I don't know if there's anyone i can talk to besides my best friends(i think). I'm really hurt, i think that the last time i was this hurt was when...i don't know, i don't think i want to think about it anymore, i feel really sad. I think it sounds gay but i really am, i hurt that something like this would happen. I always thought that my friends would have my back but i'm really sure what to think anymore. This is seriously not what i need right now. I think that i'm going to crawl into a corner and cry my heart out...Can't i not get hurt for just a few moments?

2004-08-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

Argh, Ryan, steffie's friend is 'arguing with me' about who has to top spot on steffie's annoy list. XP I'm gonna be on top if it kills me. Blah. But hey, it's nice to bicker with a guy, haven't done that in a while, i admit it, it's fun, but also requires thought though i wanna sound mature, much more mature than Ryan, but oh well, at least it's fun. But oohh, there's this one problem, i've never seen him before, and he's supposedly seen me. That's not fair, i need to know how people look like. AAAaaarrrrggggghhhhhh that reminds me, i made a fool outta myself in front of Jeff(volleyball), i hate having crushes, always end up making a fool outta myself. This time, i tripped on the stairs, i was glad he didn't notice me, but also insulted that he didn't either. -sigh- that's how it is with guys i have crushes on. But hey, i do wonder, when Pat asked me if i wanted to hang out, if he really meant it, or was he playing another prank on me. I vow not to have anymore crushes on guys now, they have to come to me, from now on i will kill any feelings heading towards crushes in me. So there, take THAT!!! -kills the bad luck following me and my crushes- YAY! -sigh-

2004-07-22T18:05:00.000-07:00

I feel a little weird. I don't know what to think about life anymore. There are things that i used to think i know but i don't understand it anymore. Life's not the same. But somehow i feel like there's something missing. Something important that i feel that's missing, i know it's not love because i don't know what's love. I feel like life's taken a strangle around my neck, with holding me from what i want to know...

2004-05-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

Oh my gawd...People need to have more patience...-sigh- oh well, but anyways, i was talking to anh on the phone, and my mom comes on the other line and she has a loud voice so, she just pops up and i jumped up and the phone nearly flew from my shoulder. Gawd, i haven't been scared like that since...er....since Alex -the asshole- pushed my chair over from behind and nearly sent me toppling on the floor a week ago. Oh my gawd, i was so pissed off at him that i nearly threatened to kick him "where the sunlight don't shine" as Laura says.

YIE! Yesterday i saw Nika, Brian, Robbie and Freddy! For the past few weeks i bugged Anh to ask Nika to come and they finally came yesterday! Oh my gawd, i had tests and exams schedualed all day and i was STILL hype. When they came, it made me remember why i missed them so much, and much more. It was so good seeing them! I actually took pictures of that great moment which i showed off to all my other friends who i didn't introduce them to.

Whoa, i think it's either only me and Veronica that has weird taste in guys, or it's the rest of the world, but on the phone with Nika today, we ended up talking about our friends who think Robbie is...ahem..."Hot" I mean today when Erika and Melissa told me that he was hot when they saw the picture, i was all like "WHAT!? Are you guys kidding me? Has your taste in guys been impaired for yesterday and today? Are you guys feeling okay!? Robbie, is NOT considered hot! DEFINETLY!" And they just laughed at me and told me to grow up and take a good look at Robbie. Well guess what? I DID GROW UP!! AND HE DOESN'T LOOK HOT TO ME!! I mean i consider him a friend and all, but HOT? I don't think i'm ready for that word. Argh, the harshness of the world!! Gee, i wonder if i bring the photo album to gym tomorrow and show off my friends some more, if i can find someone who has the same taste in guys as me and Veronica. But they have changed SO MUCH!!! AI! All of them in an adorable way!

Thank gawd no one leaked my little secret...Hehe that i had a tiny weenie little crush on a friend of Robbie's whose name starts with a "B"...Hehe, i was afraid Laura or Anh would have blurted out "hehe, Anne used to like B--" That would have been so embarrasing!!

Damn you Ms. Davis....i hate your fuckin' exams...who the hell gives a damn about an exam in ART FOR GAWD'S SAKE GAWDDAMMIT!! Argh, i have to finish it...i'll try to post tommorraw.....lovies---from--->Anne

2004-05-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

Argh, i'm so pissed off @ Nikki today, i mean i was so busy over the weekend and i can't help it if i couldn't call her! Gawd i didn't even call steffie or even Anh! OR ANYONE!!! But i was gonna call Nikki on SAT but i listened to my cell's inbox and the messaged pissed me off!!! ARGH!!! I feel so betrayed. Lost 10 lbs...40 more to go b4 the middle of the summer, or to me July 4th...Good start though, argh, the first time i tried out the 3rd tape of Slim in 6, my ass hurted. I couldn't even sit on my chair correctly, that's how much it hurted! -.-;; Steffie was laughing at me when i told her. But guess what Steffie? MY ARSH DON'T HURT NO MORE!!!

Argh, i heard CICADA'S are comming this weekend, argh, my hair!! Here's my scream b4 i post...

CICADA'S ARE COMMING!!!!!

2004-03-30T17:25:00.000-08:00

HHhhhhmmmm, not much happened today except the fact that i got a 10/10 on my Art report and will probably fail my Field Trip Research Workbook. ARGH!! FUCK!!! I'm gonna get a C on my fuckin report card...

I thought i knew you, yet i wanted my little crush to be true, i wanted us to work...yet why do i STILL get that nagging feeling in the back of my head, telling me that my littlest hopes are worthless?

Haha, spent most of the day daydreaming about Alex, well, rather Me, Nikki, Alex and John. Haha more like a love triangle between John, Nikki and Alex, with me on the outside! Lol -sigh- i would be happy to give Alex up to Nikki, everyone loves Nikki...I'm just stupid and ugly...well...

leave me to my daydreaming of "Love Triangle of John, Nikki and Alex...erm...with Anne somewhere..." -shoos the readers away-

2004-03-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

YYYIIIIEEEE!!! Bought three new jean pants yesterday! Two really cute Mudd jean pants with zippers and cargo pockets, extremely cute, and one jean short, really really short, like my gym shorts but this one has a huge belt that goes into this circle thingy. I mean for the shorts, if you read what i wrote up there, it's not all that bad, but the HORRIBLE thing is that for those who have seen the movie "The New Guy" with DJ something (forgot his name) and some other girl in it, near the end of the movie the girl in the main character's band was wearing some kind of skimpy orange skirt, well my shorts are like that except jeans and they have the same showy design on the side of the legs, i mean YOU CAN NEARLY SEE MY UNDIES!! Just NEARLY! Oh well, today i actually played volleyball with my daddy and my annoying brother. Gawd i think i filled the ball with too much air so it really hurt like crap on my arm, but i had fun, except the part where Richard really sucked. Oh well Talk to you guys later, or rather tommorraw, there should be something fun happening tommorraw...hopefully i get to see and TALK to Alex...-sighs dreamily-

Be Off with you! Let me dream my dreams -shooes you guys away-

2004-03-26T18:49:00.000-08:00

Went on my art field trip today!! Got two pictures of my friends Danny Golding and J.T. Seery! HAHA!! For once i actually GOT pictures of my friends!!! YAY!! Argh i just remembered, i ACCIDENTALLY slapped J.T.!!! Argh the humiliation!! I think i going to say HI to Carolyn but when i brought my hand up to wave i smacked JT in the face, u kno cuz he's in my art class. I think i going to say HI to Carolyn but when i brought my hand up to wave, i smacked J.T. in the face, you know because he's in my art class. I was like "OMG I AM SO SORRY ARE YOU OKAY!?" over and over again. he was like "Are these Yours?" and holds up my pen and highlighter and i take it and apoligizes again to his back as he walks into the school to get his backpack. But i remembered to give him a hug when i apoligized, i always to that to people why i injure them or they feel bad, now a days...

I wish i could accidentally injure Alex lightly and apoligize and then HOPEFULLY we'd end up talkin' and he'd make jokes about how i'd try to kill him....

2004-03-23T18:04:00.000-08:00

I, i had an emotional breakdown for the first time in my life. I don't know why, i guess it was the build up of so many problems that are occuring right now... Sara was the second to last straw, today she put a highlight mark on my uniform when i asked her to please so the chaos messing around crap, but she didn't stop and she ended up drawing on my uniform shirt, damn her. When she said sorry i think she didn't mean it at all becaus she just kept fooling around and i was on the edge, one more thing that pissed me off drew me off the edge, but gawd i hate Sara now, i mean i used to have fun WITH her, but i mean couldn't you tell that i was in no mood? Gawd that girl doesn't consider anyone's feelings. And phoey Anh too, when i told her what Sara had done to me, she's like so? That made me sad, i mean Anh! She's supposed to consider my feelings too...Then i went home, and when Joy called to ask me to come to her Birthday party and when i tried to compromise with my mom to let me skip chinese school she said no. So Joy had to hang up for a while and there i was, heart broken because i couldn't see my first best friend after about 4-6 months of no contact of even seeing each other. So I sat on my bed, crosslegged and staring out in space...Then the events that really upsetted me flashed through my mind and i just kept thinking of why all this unfortunate stuff happened to me...and then i felt something wet fall on my leg so i looked down and i realized that i was crying...Then i really started to cry, i think i trashed nearly half the tissue box from that...i've never cried that much before...lettme list the things i was crying about...
1. My mommy didn't let me go to Joy's B-Day party where i could of met Jack, David, Susanna and Nicole
2. I missed my best friend
3. Why Sara would treat people like that without considering their feelings
4. Why Sara even ACTS like a bitch?
5. Why would Alex even like me?
6. No one would like me
7. That i've given people my worst impresson
8. Why i'm so gullible
9. Why i'm so fat
10. Why i can't try my hardest at the things i do and not get looked down upon by the bitch Christy
11. Why my dreams don't come true
12. I was scared for what would happen in the future
13. Why the hell Jeff is such an A-hole to me
14. The way i act to Alex
15. The way i act to guys who don't know me personally (aka Alex's friends)

And there's sort of a bigger list but these are the main things...
That's pretty much what happened today...

2004-03-22T16:43:00.000-08:00

YYIIIEEEE!!! Pat Wilson, this big redhead football player, rubbed my time tracker on his YOU KNOW WHAT! Argh, i gotta desanitize it...-shivers- argh, then he put a finger pring of spit on it and his perverted friends called it his "discharge" IN THE PERVERTED WAY!!! ARGH!!! That was after school, when i was at the Media Center...

ANYWAY, -cough- -cough- argh, i'm completly FAMISHED!! I didn't have lunch because i thought that we were running the mile today, but it was too freakin cold!! So basically i didn't eat anything until AFTER school when me, Jon, Shelly and Laura went to Basket Robins and i got a Mint Chocolate Chip shake, ssssoooo good. I met Darryl's Alex, aka "Lexi". She's awsome! So funny, even more than Darryl. Haha some dude asked her if she was high on something when i went outside. Poopy, durning gym i didn't have any energy, and AFTER gym i had the energy i had on Saturday when i wanted to run 3 miles!! ARGH!!! Well, other than that, nothing really happened...

2004-03-20T08:25:00.000-08:00

Lmao, i still feel a little sick today but oh well...now a continuation of my hyperactive Fridays! Where was I, oh yes, it was after Algebra II, hmm....nothing much happened during religion...eeerrr, Hmm, Well, i spent Community studying for the damn World History test that i was supposed to take last gold day. Then i went to World History and talked to Ms. Davis. Then Alex came in looking all pissed and he walked over to the desk by the window all the way up front and slumped in it, glaring straight ahead...i hope he was pissed because i thing Gackt is hott, come to think of it i think he sorta had that same look after he left math...oh well, i never get my hopes up. I just only wish! Eeerrr, nothing else happened except i took the damn World History test durning study hall and had a runny nose the whole day...phoeys of the sickness. Hehe, the best part was Algebra, aaahhh -shivers- except the fact that now i'm scared outa my wits about the She Bang song now....
Hehe, went to Baskte Robins after skool with Katie, Shelly, Jon and Darryl, haha Jon and Darryl are hilarious, haha, can always count on them when i feel sad...hehe, now if only Alex could join that little group....hehe...maybe in my pardise dreams...

Oh well, today i'm aiming for running 3 miles on the Northwestern HS track...probably take me forever though... but after i'm gonna treat myself to a little shopping spree at Shoppers and CVS for girlie stuff while my brother can buy candy and crap...hehe playing hookie....that's me....hehe.....

2004-03-19T20:18:00.000-08:00

Alex LOOKED at me today!!! I mean, seriously turned and LOOKED at me, almost eye to eye if it weren't for my issues with lookin at guys straight in the eye...But i mean it, he looked at me more than once!! Hehe, i math i think he looked at me about 3-5 times, maybe it was because i was causing so much attention today, hehe. Well first i went into Algebra II right? And then when people started to come in, i was tired then so i looked up when everybody walked in so i sorta glanced at Alex as he walked in and he looked at me (ONCE). And then when we took our seats i looked over at Anh and started to talk to her, you know in my raspy morning voice and she turned to face me and i saw Alex turn his head and look at me and then he turned back around (Twice). And after Ms. Land had finished teaching she gave us about 30 mins of homework time and then where me and Anh sat, we formed a group consisting of me, Anh, Katie Pennington, and Carolyn VanBrocklyn. While we were sorta working on the worksheet, Anh asks me if Ms. Land collected the chapter 7 stuff and Ms. Land is like teaching a problem, and i say yes and i POINT to where Ms. Land stacked the Chapter 7 stuff, which is ontop of a shelf on the back of the room and she stops and looks at me and asks if there's a problem (in the ince smilie way) and i reply "No, i was just telling Anh where the Chapter 7 stuff were". THEN everyone turns around and stares at me and she says "What? You have a problem with the papers being over your head? Get it? Over your head? HAHA" and then i just laugh along with her and she returns to the explaining the problem and this girl who sits in front of Anh turns around and asks me where the Chapter 7 stuff are and i point my hand again up at the top of the shelf and this time ALEX turns around and looks at me (THIRD) and then his gaze goes to where my hand was pointing and then he stares for a little while longer and then returned to the math thing. I hope that i saw a little red tint in his cheeks when he came nose to nose with the worksheet. Then Carolyn and Katie scot over to me and Anh and begins to work with us. Here's what happened in IM format...too lazy to write it out in complete sentences...hand hurts anyway...
--+Start+--
Carolyn: Anne, can i use your calculator for a second?
Me: Sure -hands ove calc to Carolyn-
Carolyn: -types stuff on it-
Me: -shows Anh Gackt pictures-
Anh: He's not as cute as Robbie -me gasping in shock, not as cute as ROBBIE? OMG SO MUCH CUTER...wait no HOTTER than ROBBIE!!!-
Me: GASP!!! -Alex looks over (FOURTH)- You- you're kidding right!?
Carolyn: Lettme see -takes pictures- Looks kinda like a girl
Me: GASP -mouth open in shock-
Anh: -takes my calculator and starts laughing, but i dont notice yet-
Carolyn: -hands back pictures of my beloved Gackt and starts to Hypervenalate from laughter, her face is beet red and everyone is lookin over at us now-
Me: Carolyn, breath. You know inhale exhale. -Alex looks over along with the class (FIVE!!!)-
Carolyn: -calms down a little and every one returns to what they were doing-
Anh: hehe, Anne would you divide 52 by 2 for me?
Me: Eeerrr, Carolyn are you okay? -turns on my calc to find the SHE BANG song lyrics, it freaks me out to see it on my calc so i jump and gasps and the calc falls onthe ground and everyone STARES AT ME AGAIN!!! My face turns red-
Anh and Carolyn: -laughing hysterically-
--+End+--

ttytommorraw guys i have too much to write! Lol i'll continue tommorrow morning! BTW The music is by GACKT -sqeals-

2004-03-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

-sniffs and tried to breath through nose- Damn, i went home sick on the middle of second period...Damn my brother and our sparring...gawd, whenever we get into fights he coughs in my face when he's sick...So, now i'm sick, and i'm suffering...I don't want to go to school tommorrow but i want to finish my mile testing and get it over with...instead of getting it done alone on monday and getting a cramp from lunch. Today i think Alex is afraid of me, or rather scared...Durning first period, Algebra II, i sat two desks away from him, you know, with Anh in the middle of us and when i turned around he kept staring at the board, faking being interested, you know, with the fake "interest" in math, in his eyes...besides, no one finds interest in math, and that's INCLUDING Alex...

I feel like I'm dying right now...the pain in my chest, throat, tougue, mouth, and my head...I lack too much energy right now...and I cried because of the pain and the things i'm experiencing in my life right now...I hate life...I want to cry again, i want to just go to sleep and dream of things that I WANT to happen, that i know will never become reality...I want to smile with out knowing and feeling so much pain everywhere...no worries, no stress, just the perfections in life....

PPPFffffffftttttt, as If I could.....

2004-03-16T17:19:00.000-08:00

I WAS SO HUMILIATED TODAY!!! OMG AND IT'S ALL NIKKI AND STEFFIE'S FAULT!!! Oh my GAWD!!!! -sob- I humiliated myself in front of ALEX!!!!!!!! -SOBS HARDER- Last night on the phone, Nikki told me to use what happened yesterday as a source of coversation and steffie predicted that i would get humiliated!! -SOB- Okay, this morning i saw Alex at his locker rrriiiiiggggghhhhttttt? I turn away like i always do, and then i hear Nikki's voice pop up in my mind, YELLING AT ME!!! Saying "ANNE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? GO TALK TO HIM!!!! HE'S STANDING THERE ALL ALONE!!!" and so i missed that chance...and the next time i see him, after second period, i ACTUALLY go up to him and say "Hey, I just wanted to say that if you heard in the library, I wasn't talkin about you," and then i bolt for it!!! AND I TRIP!!!!!!!!!!! I TRIP!!! ON THE RAIN!!!!! GAWD IT WAS SO EMBARRASING!!!!!! -SOB- -SOB- I BET HE THINKS THAT I'M A FREAK!!! -SOB-

2004-03-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

I feel really sad, tired and a little happy today...I feel tired because i'm depressed and that makes me tired. I'm depressed cuz both of the Alex's that i know, my crush Alex and asshole Alex, did or heard something they weren't meant to hear...
Okay, first Asshole Alex is spreading rumors that i'm a lezbee!! Which i am NOT!!! Yet i'm happy because Amanda, she tok charge of the situation and told him off, i don't really remember the conversations i just know that he was REALLY told off! I'm happy that Amanda stuck up for me, but i wonder if she's the only person that will stick up for me in that group of friends, besides Anh of course...
Next, the Alex that i have fallen head over heels for...-sob- I think that he thinks that I hate HIS guts out! It's a long story and it happened after school...but okay, you know that i stay after school every monday right? Well around 3:30 i was sauntering back and forth between the tables at the media center where my friends Melissa, Marie, Katie and Heather were sitting to where my other friend Kimi was sitting and then me and Melisssa have a sort of long one on one girl talk about our love lives and well she knows that A-hole Alex is spreading rumors about me being a Lezbee and she's in my religion class and she defends me whenever A-Hole mentions me being a Lezbee (Which is NO FUCKING WAY TRUE!!). I mean she's really nice to me and we talk about how our love lives suck(even though her's is better than me) And then i notice that Alex was sitting in the front all alone and i tell Melissa that that' the guy i have a crush on and then she tells me that he calls her a "Ho". And i'm sitting here shocked and i'm like "Awww, why!?" and she tells me that this guy named Pat calls her a Ho and since Alex is his friend, he calls her a Ho too... But then he looks over at him, doing his homework, and says that he looks so innocent and that he's really nice it's just Pat Slago's bad influence with another friend of mine Christina who is nice to me too, but a little sluttish...Then somehow the conversation reverts back to how can a guy like A-hole be so mean and...i say, really loud "Gawd, i HATE Alex's guts out!" and then i see him walk past me, and he makes eye contact with me...but i can't tell whether he thinks it's him or another Alex, but he looked a little hurt when he walked away...i think that he thinks that I hate his guts out...-sob-.....

I hate High School...............................

2004-03-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

I bought the Jessica Simpson CD, In my Skin...Ish purty good, i love the Forbidden Fruit song. ^^ Now if only Alex was in my Lit class, then i might even have the chance to DANCE with him. You see, in my Lit class, and Alex's (his is the period after ours so i always see him waiting outside the trailers), we're studying Romeo and Juliet and our teacher's making us re-act the Masquerade ball, so basically we hafta dance, girls with guys and we hafta make masks. The masks is the fun part! But there are like absolutly no good-looking guy in my class. Damn, the perverted ass hole is in my class too, but no fuckin' way am i dancing with him! I would perfer to dance with Paul, the shortest kid in our class than him! But Anh, OMG!!! I WANNA BE IN HER LIT CLASS!!! She has the same lit class with Alex, poopy...Oh well...I just bought like a whole bag of feathers to glue onto the mask, this is so cool! -sigh- i just wish Mrs. Elison could combine her classes together....oh well, i guess i can't have everything i want. But you know what? I have the same World History class as Alex and we're workin on a web page, him partnered with Chris, and me partnered with Brendan... I hope Alex asks me for help because i know how to sorta work dreamweaver or at least i'm the HOLDER OF COOL HTML CODES in my class...Lol, oh yeah, my daddy and I are gonna sign up for a gym!!! ISn't that cool!! Bally Total Fitness RAWKS!!! AS DOES VOLLEYBALL!!!

2004-03-14T10:43:00.000-08:00

Hhhhmmmmm, i've calmed down from yesterday now...Can't seem to reach Nikki ANYWHERE and tell her about stuff. Added Music??? Like it? It's By BoA (Beat of Angel) and the song's called Be the One, i kno i kno it ssssooo doesn't go with the layout, but oh well, i LOVE the song. Didn't do much today, day dreamed, about someone....-ahem-.......but i went to Art class as usual until 11:00 am, didn't feel like painting today. But any ways i was day dreamin' did i tell? Oh well it was about Alex and how the incident yesterday affected us to get us closer, lol, i am SO GIDDY, but then...oh gawd i'm starting to get depressed again, but oh well it's like 2:00 pm in the afternoon or something near that. My dad and I are going to sign up to go to the gym, Bally Total Fitness, i love that place, okay i've never been there, but i'm REALLY tryin' hard to lose weight, seriously I am. But the suckie thing is that i hafta be at the gym WITH a parent or someone older than 16. Oh well ,i'll bug my dad as often. Didjah kno!? They have workouts specifically for VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS!!! YYYYYIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!! That is SSSSSSSOOOOO COOL!!! That's why i love Bally Total Fitness, also that they are known for makin people lose weight rapidly with only excercise, but that depends on the persons ne? Oh well, i wanna go as often as i can!! VOLLEYBALL RAWKS!!!!!!!!! SO DOES BoA

2004-03-13T15:55:00.000-08:00

OMG!!! My X-friend, not my friend anymore, oh my gawd!! IF THAT'S WHAT HE DOES ON THE INTERNET!!! OMG THEN THINK ABOUT REAL LIFE!! OMG!! I can't even stand to even look at him after this incident....omg, i, i am SO F-ING DISGUSTED!! Oh my gawd... here's the convo.....

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
what
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
nvm
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
ok
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
so whats up
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
nothin much, gawd i have so much windows open
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
have u done that mask thing 4 lit
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
no
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
8o|
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
you?
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
yeah
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
and it looks kinda wierd
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
lol
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:

The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
do u like dbz
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
nope not ne more
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
y?
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
i dont know
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
y
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
you asked
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
y dont u like it
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
i dunno, i guess it got kinda boring 4 me
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
oh
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
its ok
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
lol
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
wana see something funny
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
like really really funny
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
er, i dunno....
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
yes o no
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
what kind of funny?
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
anime porn funny
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
it dont like it
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
its just so funny
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
YYIIEEE!!! no!!
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
hahaha
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
pervie stuff!!
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
i look at the real thing not anime
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
ur so funny
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
eeeeewwwww!!!!!!
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
well any ways
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
haha u had 2 dance
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
yesterday
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
shut up
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
haha u cant hit me haha
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
argh, you perv!!
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
why
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
u usally hit me
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
and then say shut up
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
eeeewwwwwiiieee!!!
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
g2g but i'm still gonna be signed on, gotta do HW can't chat! eeewwww
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
whats ur problem
The Half-Demon: Inu-Yasha says:
god
xoxo-Innocence-oxox says:
wtf i hafta do homework or else i'll be kicked off the internet!

2004-03-13T15:15:00.000-08:00

Gawd i'm tired, i was stuck at my parent's office the whole day, or at least until 12 or 1, when chinese school started. Staying at the office is never a good thing, there's never anything to do there, so that always leaves me to my own thoughts which basically mean..."Write down thoughts for the blog," and "Depress and be sad about Alex,". I did both. I just know that he won't like me, I mean no one does. I've never been on a date or even had a boyfriend before. I mean why would Alex like me anyway? I'm not fat and ugly. Besides he's popular and i'm not. Gawd, he doesn't eve talk to me any more...after I made afool outta myself in mathe. The only time he's ever talked to me since was when were were working together for a classwork assignment in World History. He said to everyone in our group "I was raped by girls in my Lit class," other than that, I've nevr really heard him say anything actually TOWARDS me. The only popular guys that talk to me are the guys in my gym and Chris Beacraft, Alex's friend. Sure, they don't always talk to me, but at least they TALK to me, but they don't make me laugh like Alex did...

2004-03-12T20:13:00.000-08:00

-sniff- i just recently cound out that i now have a crush on Alex, yeah the guy that made fun/scared the hell outta me, yeah, him... But it's been so long since i talked to him, i don't think he likes me anymore...I hate my life. Since monday i have been embarrassing myself too!! Nikki wanted me to stalk this guy who goes to my school, John, not my cousin, but yeah this guy named John and i am...Here's the humiliation i have gone through since monday...
Monday-->I saw John at the Media Center so, you know i sit near the back with all my friends right? And as i was going up to sign into the Media center, Anh goes..."Anne! Anne! See Look CAST!!!" becasue before she said that he was wearing a cast and i didn't kno but i swear! She said it SO LOUD!!! OMG and guess what!? He heard, too!! Argh, dammit!
Tuesday-->I saw John again, this time at the same place as monday, but before, at study hall, there was this guy on of my sorta friends/punching bag knew him cuz he sat across from John on monday, so i asked him if he knew John and he said yes and then started bombarding me with all the questions, i told him what he needed and he couldn't help me get a picture for nikki, so after school Michael (study hall guy) came up to me as i was walking to my usual table and John had just finished photocopying sumthing for the Freshman Lit class assignment and was following behind us...and GAWD!!!! MICHAEL IS SO F-IN' LOUD TOO!! He kept on goin' "Hey, is that they guy" and then nudges this weird motion behind him, GAWD I WAS SO EMBARRASSED!!!! And i promise you John noticed, i think by that day he was thinkin' "Hey is that weirdo girl stalkin' me!?" ARGH!!!
Wednsday-->I saw John again, heck i see him everyday! But -argh- today, just before the begining of the last period, gym for me, while the girls were changing, i was done early so i just sat there with nothing to do and my friend Katie comes up and says "Hey Anne, could you come to the nurse so i can get some cramp medicine?" and i'm sitting there doin' nothing, of course i go with her to the nurse, it's just around the corner from the girls locker room! And so we go, and while Katie was getting her cramp medicine i lean against the door frame, with one foot ontop of the heath room chairs, sitting against the wall, about a couple of inches away from the door frame i was leaning on. Okay so i'm leaning against the door frame, one leg on the chair and the other on the ground but all my body weight is on the chair so here i am lookin around the health room and then suddenly the door MOVES!!!!!! OMG I was never that scared in my whole life at skool!! argh...then i see that it's John and he just stares at me with this emotionless face and knowing me, i never stare at people so i look away, gawd ppl should NEVER wear the white uniform when you're goin to the nurse!! Argh, i swear, again that i would of probably fallen face first on the floor when he came in if not for Katie who had just turned around when i jumped from the sight of a head appearing on the door, Katie had just taken the cramp medicine and turned around and dragged me off!! Argh! Saved from the humiliation of fallin' face first on the floor but, still HUMILIATED!!!
Thursday-->Okay, today, not humilated in front of John, but ALEX!!! AAAIIIIIIEEEE!!!!!! It was at Study Hall my friend Amanda and Sara were bored so we decided to arm wrestle and after that we got even more bored, then we played tug a war with our hands, to see who could get the other person's elbow over the line, and when i played my friend i sqealed so loud when she pulled me outta my seat, and i swear i saw Alex look over with this weird look and then continue with his convo.....-sniff-
TODAY-->OMG TODAY WAS THE WORST!!! During gym, we played basketball and we were split into teams and i was stuck with my old crush who turned ASSHOLE on me. And then, remember Kerry? (i spelled her name Carrie, b4) i was in the same team with her and we were against Jeff's group...and DAMMIT i was stuck guarding him!! But you know what? The only good thing that happened in gym was that whenever i stepped on his foot or he'd step on mine he would say "sorry" and "It's okay"...Maybe he's changed, but i don't like him as a crush anymore...i like alex...but then, almost at the end, i was trying to intercept a ball and Jeff is trying to get it and i end up tacklin' him !!! I was like "OMG!! I AM SO SORRY!! ARE YOU OKAY!?" and he just grabs the ball, dribbles away, yellin' back "It's okay! I'm fine" and then he makes a basket! Argh so humiliating!!